The Office War of 2010
by Alice Rose Winter
Summary: The Jeffersonian let's out a little steam in the best way: a building wide war. Madness will ensue.
1. Chapter 1

The Jeffersonian was in complete shambles. Desks were over turned, stacked against each other to form a blockade of some kind. Dr. Goodman walked through the rubble, eyes wide at the chaos around him.

Had the Jeffersonian been attacked? Surely he would have been informed. As far as he could tell no equipment had been damaged, and no forensics evidence was among the garbage. Why would someone destroy the Jeffersonian and not take any of the valuable equipment or artifacts? Something didn't make any sense.

It was at that moment that something seemed off… it was quiet. Too quiet. He coughed loudly, hoping someone would emerge from the offices around him and explain what was going on.

"HIII-YAH!" a split second later Dr. Goodman was looking sternly at Hodgins, still looking intimidating despite the quivering nerf dart in the middle of his forehead.

"Dr. Hodgins. What have you done to this facility, and why on earth are you dressed in that way?"


	2. Chapter 2

Hodgins stood there in complete shock, clearly not expecting Dr. Goodman to be on the receiving end of his attack.

Dr. Goodman peeled the dart off of his head; unaware of the red ring it left behind.

He was very curious as to why Jack Hodgins was topless, wearing an ammo belt across his chest and his face smeared with black paint. Realizing that Hodgins wasn't going to answer him anytime soon, he slid out of his jacket, placing it high on a shelf where it wouldn't be harmed.

"I believe that by your attire and attack on me, that the Jeffersonian is currently involved in a war of sorts. I would like to participate." He took the gun from Hodgins hands, noting that the man had several others in the room he had just charged from. "I believe that the room behind will make a very good defense position. If we move some of the tables in front of it then we will have a very prime position if someone comes barging out." He moved over to one of the tables, signaling Hodgins over to help him move the table. It seemed that Hodgins had realized that he wasn't going to be fired, and ran over in such a hurry that he almost fell over his shoes.

"So you aren't angry? I mean we moved anything that could be broken easily into Limbo, it's one of the rooms that are off limits. But are you sure you aren't mad? I mean that janitors are involved as well so they clearly don't have a problem with cleaning all of this up when we're done but-" he was cut off my Goodman's hand as he grew weary of Hodgins frantic explanations.

"I was going to suggest that everyone at the Jeffersonian take the day off, seeing as we have all been a bit stressed. I view this as a suitable change. Now, how did all of this start?"

**So the rest of the story will be from multiple point of views, showing just how far the chaos has spread. Don't be confused if you don't recognize the characters, some of them might just be figment of my imagination. Don't fret, the rest of the chapters will be sufficiently longer and the more reviews I receive will make me post faster. Reviews are my addiction!**


	3. Chapter 3

How it all started….

This was madness. Complete and utter madness. Hodgins had barged into the lab, yelling about one of his numerous conspiracy theories and refused to be silenced. That combined with Booth's frantic pacing and Zack lecturing the interns about who knows what, Angela felt like her head might explode. Thank God Brennan was down in Limbo, maybe she could join her down there; no one dared disrupt Brennan's bubble of silence unless the world was ending… actually people just left her alone period when she was looking at bones. Except for Booth that is, he always seemed to be able to get away with everything. She looked over at agent studly, wondering what could be worrying that sexy head of his.

"WHO DID THIS!" a familiar voice shouted throughout the lab, halting everyone in their place. Oh no…

Temperance Brennan stalked towards the frozen crowd, dumping a tray of bone fragments on the table.

"When I left last night, this skull was intact. When I get here this morning I find that a skull of a Caucasian male who was murdered approximately 350 years ago is smashed to bits? Who is responsible for this?" she glared at the people surrounding her; unsurprisingly everyone kept their lips sealed.

All at once people exploded in a rush to try and give their own explanations as to what had happened. Angela knew that they were all false, but she was definitely in no rush to speak up.

"Dr.B, I swear I was in no way apart of what happened, please don't fire me aga-"

"It is possible that a small earthquake might have disrupted the bones, causing them to-"

"It was probably a serial killer trying to get rev-"

"Bones, calm down I'm sure everythi-"

"I bet that the guy was some kind of political prisoner and know the government is trying to cov-"

Angela thought her brain was going to explode. She looked at Temperance and almost laughed at the look of shock on her friends face. It was clear that she hadn't expected everyone to start bombarding her with ideas, she merely thought the perpetrator would step forward. It was clear that this was up to Angela.

Reaching behind her desk she grabbed the weapon that was responsible for all of this in the first place. Aim… and FIRE! She pulled the trigger, only to have Brennan step in front of her target at the last moment.

Silence filled the room instantly.

"Why do I have a foam dart adhered to my forehead?"

Seeley Joseph Booth knew that it was a very bad idea to laugh, but he couldn't help himself. What started out as a poorly disguised cough turned into a chuckle and then roaring laughter. Soon everyone joined in, leaving Bones looking confused in the midst of it all. A high pitched shriek alerted everyone to an artist flailing about on the floor laughing uncontrollably. It was clear from the nerf gun she was holding that she had fired it in the first place. Why on earth would Angela shoot Bones with a dart?

"Angela, why would you shoot me?" Bones voiced his exact question, a look of confusion on her face. Angela was to preoccupied with laughing her head off that she didn't notice Hodgins reaching behind his desk to grab a neon orange plastic toy.

"HIIYAH!" he screamed , shooting Angela with a dart of his own. She stood up, surprisingly calm pointing her weapon at Hodgins.

"Oh it is so on." Realizing what was about to happen Booth pulled Brennan down, holding her so that she would land on top of him. At that moment all hell broke loose.

For some reason it seemed that everyone of the squints had a hoard of nerf guns hidden around the lab, grabbing them with ease as though they had memorized their positions. Even Bones had a few in her desk, unlocking the drawer and tucking a few in her waistband. Handing him a few guns she moved all breakable items off of her desk before kicking it forwards, scaring Booth out of his mind and successfully preventing anyone from barging into her office.

"What the hell is going on Bones?" Booth was very familiar with these kinds of scenes, but normally things were blowing up and people were screaming. As if on que there was a small explosion and Zack went running by the door, his eyebrows having disappeared.

What. The. HELL.

"I believe that Angela has instigated relaxing technique #56, a Jeffersonian wide war." At that very moment Angela's voice rang out loud and clear on the intercom, wait they had an intercom?

"Activation code Sparkles. #56 is now commencing. Participate or suffer the consequences", she stated before her shrieks of glee could be heard.

It was official, either he was dreaming or the world had gone mad… or both.

Bones smiled triumphantly. "I knew I was right."

"Wait. Relaxing technique? Is it just me or is kicking over tables not all that relaxing." He was pulled down by Bones who had shed her work clothes for a pair of yoga pants and a white tank top.

"You might want to get un-dressed."

"What?" he swore, if his heart had anymore minor heart attacks, he was going to jump out a window.

"The suit. I can only assume that you would rather it stay clean. I believe that I heard Angela murmuring about paintball guns the other day, so it's safe to assume that you don't want your clothing ruined."

"Oh, right." He stripped off his suit jacket, realizing that if he was going to keep as much of his suit intact as possible, he would have to shed his shirt. Luckily he was planning on going boxing with the guys in the FBI gym after work, so he had a pair of sweatpants and sneakers. Quickly stripping he felt his partners eyes on his back. '_Well she has seen me in my boxers before_', he thought as he removed his pants, folding them neatly. Sliding on the sweatpants as soon as humanly possible, he took a seat next to Bones, happy to see her face was flushed. He didn't have enough time to tease her about it because seconds later what appeared to be a grenade was thrown into the office. His army instincts kicking in, he grabbed it and hurled it out the door, smiling as it exploded into a cloud of sequins.

"Booth, you might want these." He grabbed the nerf guns she handed him, sliding one of his polka dotted socks, making sure that his laces were tied at the same time. The last thing he needed was to fall on his face in front of people he saw every day.

He was in his element, he was a sniper after all. Grabbing an ammo belt from Bones' stash he readied himself.

This was going to be one hell of a day.

**I want to apologize to people who might have been confused by the abrupt ending this chapter used to have. I was looking through my computer and apparently I have 5 different versions of this document, only one of them finished. So here is the original version of this chapter. Enjoy!**


	4. Chapter 4

It was clear from the beginning that there were two teams, Booth and Bones vs. The Jeffersonian. Though the two could not for the life of them figure out why (even though Bones insisted that the pounding of their hearts had nothing to do with figuring something out) they took it in stride, knowing that hesitation would mean annihilation in this game.

That wasn't a complete exaggeration considering that everyone in the building had a high I.Q and access to flammable material. Zack had received the first of many mishaps, the young man now looking even more ridiculous (ridiculously cute that is) without eyebrows. Hodgins was to blame of course; the minor explosion caused by a rogue dart had almost scorched him as well.

Ever since that accident people steered clear of unidentifiable liquids and gases meaning that the majority of the fighting occurred in the storage areas. It was the perfect area for the duo, Booth with his sniper abilities and Bones with her vast knowledge of the Jeffersonian.

"Why do I feel like this is the only gun your going to allow me to have?" she asked as she fired multiple rounds at a fellow employee, smiling as he fled from the foam darts.

"Bones, how many times do we need to go over this? You shot me!"

"It was a flesh wound Booth. And we both know it wasn't my fault!" she frowned, considering pointing her gun at Booth and making him promise to give her a gun. His promise was unlikely though due to the fact that this gun was hot pink.

"I still don't understand why you insisted I have the pink gun. I can only assume that since our society has branded pink as a feminine color that you would feel as though your alpha male status would decrease if you held such a bright shade." She was silenced by Booths callused hand as he pulled them down behind a crate, refilling his emptied gun.

"I just don't like pink Bones. How are we supposed to win this war anyway? It's not as though people go down after their shot."

"True, but the darts do leave circles after you peel them off. The reason you haven't noticed is because you haven't been struck yet. I can only assume that after this is over, we will see how much harm the marks would have caused in real life and determine who would be alive at the end." Her voice was remarkably calm considering she had just somersaulted out from behind the crate to shoot an intruder before answering him.

"Well in that case we are so going to win." His face glowed with mischief as he grabbed her hand, leading her to a ladder he had spotted before.

"I concur. With your army training and my martial arts knowledge we are formidable team. Perhaps that is why everyone seems to be after us." Booth shot someone who attempted to follow them up the ladder, smirking as they ran for their life.

He knew she was right. Together they were unstoppable. Already they had covered others in darts and remained untouched. He wondered why Angela had even bothered in the first place, hadn't she realized that they would team up?

"Perfect." He arranged a few boxes to make sure that from their spot they were invisible from the rest of the floor. Luckily there was a door behind them that led to a stair case, he left it slightly ajar so that no one would be able to sneak up on them from behind and so that they would have an escape route.

"This is a prime position for us to win. You must have made a very formidable sniper Booth. Your abilities are quite unique. I can only imagine that you were a very effective sniper in the field." He winced at her words. He had always tried to keep his past life private; looking back caused too much pain for it to be worthwhile. He knew that Bones would start asking questions about where he learned how to pick a position in which to kill unsuspecting targets, he only had a short amount of time to change the subject.

"I'm surprised Bones, your pretty good at this game." He flashed one of his charming smiles, knowing that she would take the compliment and they would be able to move on.

"That can only be expected from someone with my kind of experience. My vast knowledge in martial arts and my talents at using a gun can only increase my ability at-" her face lit up with understanding, Booth had to bite his lip from laughing out loud. "That was a compliment wasn't it…" He nodded his head in reply. "Oh. Well thank you for that." She smiled faintly, taking her position next to him.

She was silent for a few seconds, but Booth knew that wouldn't last. She was incapable of sitting still for more than a few moments, her brain had to be active constantly; he wouldn't be surprised if her dreams were full of work as well.

"Booth, are we going to be maintaining this position for long? Logically it is a better decision to continue moving, that way others cannot-"

He resisted the urge to groan. _Here we go again. _


	5. Chapter 5

Angela is an evil, evil woman.

Not only had she decided that Hodgins was her main target, but the woman had scarily amazing aim. Plus she happened to know where the majority of the guns were.

He was completely and utterly screwed.

After snagging his shirt on a few boxes he decided it was probably best to go topless, maybe it would distract Angie long enough for him to get her back. Then again Angela had the same advantage seeing as she had decided to fight in shorts and a sports bra. As if that wasn't cruel enough, she seemed to hold no mercy for her prey. Somehow she had smuggled paintball guns into the Jeffersonian and seemed to enjoy laughing manically while shooting them everywhere. He knew there was a reason he fell in love with her.

"Oh Hodgy… come out come out wherever you are." He shuddered at the sound of her voice, knowing that only trouble could come from this. Picking up a piece of loose wood (the Jeffersonian was _so_ going to sue everyone for all of the damages they had caused), he chucked it as far away as he could, listening to her joyful squeals as she emptied another round of paint at the farthest wall. He stood up slowly, making sure that she wouldn't notice his presence until it was too late. Taking aim he fired, a well placed dart reaching it's desired target. Listening to her gasp he ran for his life, knowing he only had a few moments until the wrath of Angela Montenegro was upon him.

For he, had shot her in the butt.

**Sorry for the shortness but I'm posting this in the middle of the night and I am FREAKING OUT! One of me finals is tomorrow and I am totally screwed. If you read this(and you know who you are), please for the love of my new toilet keep me from going completely mad!**


	6. Chapter 6 please read AN

Hodgins had managed to out run Angela the tigress, just managing to escape her surprisingly well hid traps. One would have caused him to be no more than a paint splatter on the floor if Zach shove him out of the way. That guy was strong when he wanted to be. He was about to thank Zach when he realized he was on a red X. He ran as fast as he could toward the exit, missing the explosion of sparkles and feathers behind him as Zach was targeted by his own creation. Oh Zach…

He retreated to his hideout where Dr. Goodman was using his password to give them access to the Jeffersonians security mainframe. If Goodman succeeded, it would mean that they could see and hear what was going on throughout the entire Jeffersonian. Total control over the game in other words. They could even make some of the doors remain locked if needed, but it would only be a way of slowing others down seeing as the rooms always had emergency exits.

"How long till you're in?" he asked, refilling his emptied gun. Goodman glared at him, making it clear that Hodgins was not to ask again.

He watched patiently as Goodman went through the password-encrypted pages, his fingers flying over the keyboard.

The sound of several TV's working caused Hodgins to look up, watching as images from all over the Jeffersonian.

"Wait a minute, can you zoom in right… there! Where there hell did they go?" They searched the security cameras for any trace as to where Booth and Bones had gone; it was as if they had just vanished.

"It is possible that they go tired with the game and just left the building. I'm not sure how they got past Angela though."

"Oh we didn't." The men looked up, completely surprised to see a dripping wet Temperance Brennan smiling from a grate in the ceiling. "Bye boys." She smiled, pulling two guns out of nowhere and successfully causing the two fully grown men to squeal for their lives and run like hell… or more rather into hell seeing as Booth was waiting for them outside.

"We'll that was easier than I'd anticipated." She stated as she swung down from the vent, landing gracefully as Booth checked the rest of the lab, barricading all the doors but one.

"What are we looking at Bones?" Her eyes had a glimmer in them that was scaring Booth, that was when he noticed the flickering screens above them.

"They didn't."

"Clearly they did Booth, otherwise we wouldn't have access at this moment."

Booth tried not to look at Bones, he really did. Somehow she had gotten completely soaked, meaning that her white shirt was see-through and really, REALLY clingy. Why was God doing this to him?

"Bones, please put something on." He winced as his voice cracked, using the television screens near the door as a distraction.

"Oh." Her voice was small as she rummaged through the cabinets. She looked back at him as she shed her shirt, her pants were dry enough for her to wear them. Tying the Jeffersonian lab coat around her she coughed slightly, signaling it was okay for Booth to turn around.

The sight in front of him was only slightly better than her see-through attire. The coat just managed to cover her bra, but he was sure that the moment she leaned over it would all be in plain view. At least she had left her pants on.

"So. What now?" she asked, gesturing at the screens.

He smiled; it was his turn for the evil glint.

"We win."

**HELP**

Okay, so I know that this is random, but there has been this one story that I can't get out of my head and no matter how hard I try and just cannot find it. If you've heard of it or wrote it, please point me in the right direction seeing as I don't even remeber the summary or title. This is what I remember:

Booth and Bones have a secret relationship while the squint squad tries to get them together in crazy ways while the two of them make a pact to see what the squints will do and try to stay oblivious. They end up locking the two of them in a storage container or something and turn off the air conditioning in hopes that the two will jump eachother in their state of undress. They know the squints have a camera to watch them so when Angela comes down to knock some sense into them, they convince her that Bones is madly in love with her and not Booth, only to come out and eventually tell them.

Please PM me if you know it!

Oh and please review =)


	7. Chapter 7

The battle had been a fierce one. The interns had all joined forces and created a catapult of doom, that's actually what they called it. Booth and Brennan fought off Angela (she was scary when she wanted to be) while the interns machine backfired and started coming after them. Booth hoped that there were tapes in the recording machines, their frantic screaming and Daisy jumping on Wendell's shoulders, screeching at him to run faster would make a very funny movie later on.

Eventually it ended though, the interns were covered in glitter and their catapult was lying on the floor sideways, all of them having tackled it to make it topple. Angela and Hodgins were in a closet making out, both of them soaking in paint. Goodman had simply surrendered, he and Zach were both smashing Zach's creation, somehow it had managed to strip Zach to his boxers before dumping a gallon of paint on him

Booth and Brennan were the only survivors. The two of them were panting heavily in her office, they had been forced to abandon the security booth after it was flooded with glitter.

As Booth looked over at Bones he couldn't help but smile, she had a maniacal grin on her face her eyes alive and dancing from the adrenaline. Her hair was array, tendrils drifting around her face. He had never seen her looking sexier, and she couldn't shut up.

"I mean I know the rush is from the adrenaline of almost being crushed by the catapult but I never expected it to be so exhilarating! Of course logically it should be exhilarating but the feeling from escaping of near death is addicting! We should do this more often I, it's an extremely effective way to relieve stress. And you Booth! You were incredible. I've never seen you as a ranger before and might I say I was quite impressed. The way you managed to save me when Zach's creation tried to throw me in that vat…"

"Bones?"

"Yeah Booth?"

"Shut up."

He kissed her. He didn't know why, yes he did. He was in love. And from the way she was kissing him, she loved him back.

**One more chapter to go! I'll put it up tomorrow. Sorry for the long wait, I kind of forgot about this story and I just want to finish it, sorry for any errors!**


	8. Chapter 8

The aftermath…

It had taken a whole day and two cleaning teams to restore the Jeffersonian to its immaculate state. Luckily the day had been slow, everyone at home taking long showers or baths, scrubbing at the stains on their clothing.

The next morning Bones heard the familiar ringing of her phone. She smiled, Booth.

"Be there in twenty." She said as she headed out of her apartment, grabbing a bag on her way out.

"Hey Booth." She grinned, dropping the bag on his desk. She hadn't bothered to shut the door behind her.

"Hey Bones. What's this?" He opened them, seeing a mass of gray fabric inside.

"Your pants. You left them at my house last night. I washed them for you, couldn't get the stains out though."

Neither of them noticed the shocked cough outside Booth's office.

"It's fine, you ripped them pretty badly. I think it's time they retire. How are your knees?"

"They're fine, I wrapped them and took a hot bath. I was pretty sore from yesterday."

"Yeah, you were a wild animal Bones. Want to go grab some lunch? Sweets said he wants to meet us at the diner instead."

A small crowd had formed by Booth's door at this point. When he suggested lunch however, they all scattered.

"Sounds fine." The two of them walked out of his office, both of them wondering why random people were giving them thumbs up. One even came up and patted Booth on the back.  
"What on earth was that?" Booth asked once they were in the elevator.

"I have no idea. Thank you for the compliment on my paintball skills. That game was rather intense. Sorry for ripping your pants by the way, I was trying to save you from Zach's machine. "

"It was no problem Bones."

"You were rather magnificent though, as a team we were quite effective."

"You're right Bones. We are quite a team."

**And it's done! Just a bit of innuendo at the end, I couldn't resist. =D**


End file.
